When the depression hits...

So I'm currently in a time of depression and it's not fun at all. I feel like a broken record when the depression hits again. Yes I was doing great and probably the best I've been in a while and now I'm depressed, again. I hate admitting it. I hate saying it to others. I hate that I know it's happening but I still just have to get through it. There is no quick fix to snap out of my depression, at least that I've figured out yet, and that is frustrating. I just feel so small and that every single thing is just the biggest obstacle. I feel like a burden for once again being in a low point. I feel like there's a limit to how much help I can receive and how long people are willing to put up with me and that every time I sink back into a depression I get closer to that tank running out. I project all the frustration and annoyance at myself for "letting myself get depressed again" onto everyone else and have a hard time believing that anyone wants to just stay by me through all this. 
I've had some ideas for new blog posts and have been feeling overall really positive and wanted to share that with you all. Then it stopped and I just don't have the motivation or the energy to do anything besides take care of myself and work through this day by day. My first instinct when the depression hits is to go into hiding and push everyone away. My family, my friends, even my therapist. I can't make myself believe any of their love and support isn't coming from them "having to". Although I know I can't just make my depression go away before it runs its course I am trying to make this time different. This blog post is my first step. I'm going to be more vocal about the fact that at the moment I'm not okay and that's okay. I'm going to ask the people in my life for help and trust that I'm not the burden I think I am. I'm not going to hide when the good went away because mental health awareness is bringing light to the bad. It's starting the conversation. I may not have the energy to do much but I do have the energy to start the conversation. 
If you're feeling down, I'm with you. I'm here for you. You are not alone. You are not a burden. You ARE important. You ARE worth it. Don't be afraid to ask for help and don't be afraid to say I'm not okay. 

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