Surviving the Dark Days

So unfortunately for about the past week or so I have found myself in a not so great place. Depression, anxiety, panic -they've all come to visit in full force. It's the worst it's been in a while and even though I have an idea of why they are coming out to play, it still doesn't make it any easier. In fact, it actually makes it harder for me. I tend to be a perfectionist in life, so I always want answers. I've been learning through this journey that having answers to why something is happening doesn't always help. I thought that once I knew what my triggers were I would be able to control my mental health from getting too out of control, I mean, when you know you have a broken arm you get a cast and rehab it and everything works out. This isn't the same though and that frustrates me so much. I know why I'm in a low point and I know my tricks that usually help me get through it, but it's still winning. I can see the problem but I can't fully fight it. Needless to say I have been a frustrated person, along with feeling really down, so basically I've been a really fun person to be around.

I've had to learn that sometimes my solutions won't work and that has to be okay. I've had to learn that as much as I want to take care of myself sometimes the only way to do that is by asking for help. I've had to learn that sometimes it really just is about surviving and knowing that this low point will pass, but I just have to go along for the ride. It's been some tough days for me, full of doubt, sadness, anger, guilt, and every other emotion on the board, except for happiness. I'm trying to keep myself distracted and latch on to the positive moments when they come because I've grown enough to know that they will come and this will pass. This low point isn't a moment that defines my journey but just a roadblock in my progress. I know this doesn't mean I have to start completely over on my healing, as much as it may feel like it, and that there are actually positives and lessons I can take away from this experience, which is what I'm trying to remember and focus on. At the end of the day I'm just trying to hold a megaphone up to the part of my brain telling me it knows I will make it through this and hope each day gets better.

If any of you out there have any advice for how you survive those dark days I would love to hear it/talk about it. For now I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes that I currently have on repeat:


Until next time. 💜 

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