Dancing Through Anxiety

So I just got my first Therabox and to say I'm obsessed is an understatement! I stumbled across Therabox first on Instagram and immediately fell in love with this company. Therabox is a monthly subscription box filled with all sorts of goodies for self love and care. This month's theme was Thanks & Giving and is filled with so many wonderful products that promote self care and me-time! I'm going to give you the inside scoop on all the products so you can fall in love with Therabox too!  I think this gratitude jar from The Happy Shoppe might just be my favorite product from this month's box. Last November I wrote three things down in my journal every day that I was thankful for and I can't wait to do the same this year but instead using this cute jar. I love the idea of having one go-to place of all things I'm thankful for, that way when I need a pick me up all I have to do is pick a note out of the jar and be reminded of everything I have to be thankfu...

So I'm currently in a time of depression and it's not fun at all. I feel like a broken record when the depression hits again. Yes I was doing great and probably the best I've been in a while and now I'm depressed, again. I hate admitting it. I hate saying it to others. I hate that I know it's happening but I still just have to get through it. There is no quick fix to snap out of my depression, at least that I've figured out yet, and that is frustrating. I just feel so small and that every single thing is just the biggest obstacle. I feel like a burden for once again being in a low point. I feel like there's a limit to how much help I can receive and how long people are willing to put up with me and that every time I sink back into a depression I get closer to that tank running out. I project all the frustration and annoyance at myself for "letting myself get depressed again" onto everyone else and have a hard time believing that anyone wants to j...

When I had my first panic attack a little over two years ago I thought I was dying. There is no better way to describe it, even though we have no idea what death actually feels like. I couldn't breathe and I was convinced this was the end. It was scary and horrifying and a tad bit embarrassing. Once you recover and realize you aren't actually dying and you are actually breathing, it feels like you should have been able to know that in the moment too. However, if you've ever experienced a panic attack then you understand this is hardly the case. After the first one happened I never wanted to experience that feeling again. I wouldn't want anyone to experience that feeling, even my own worst enemy. Unfortunately, though, they kept happening and even more unfortunately, they got worse. If I thought the first one was bad I was mistaken, although at least now I knew what was going on. I always thought, though, that if I had the answer to why something was happening or what ...

So I've been doing really well lately and making a lot of progress. I've gained confidence and hope that I will once again be able to live the life I want to live. I'm obviously not there yet but I've been able to do more and more things and survive tough situations that have previously seemed impossible. Whenever I'm doing good I tend to not know what to write about in my blog posts. For one thing, I don't want to seem like I'm bragging about doing well because even through the good days I am almost always struggling with something. The other thing is that I don't want to be seen as doing well and then not be believed when I'm struggling or fall into a down moment. Basically to sum it up I have a huge fear surrounding making progress.  With every good day that passes and every bad moment I make it through comes excitement, but that excitement also comes followed by fear that it's all going to end soon. I feel like I am almost always waiting ...

Now that I've gotten my mental health somewhat under control, at least in terms of panic attacks and being able to handle my day to day anxiety, I've realized just how badly I need to spend some time focusing on my physical health. The problem is I have no idea what to do and I still need to be able to take care of my mental health along the way. When it comes to working out and being healthy I have zero motivation and then when I actually do find motivation I'm so out of shape that I can't do very much before I'm completely worn out. There are a few things I'm trying to incorporate into my daily life to help me form healthy habits that will hopefully lead me to becoming a healthier version of myself, both mentally and physically.  1. Watching Calories - Now this is something that I know can not always be helpful. I'm not going to starve myself if I'm hungry but I have no calories left for the day. This is more of a way to hold myself accountable to ea...

I always feel the need to apologize when I haven't written in forever but then I feel like why should I apologize when it's my blog and I just write when I have something to write? So basically sorry that I haven't written in a while but also not sorry because I'm trying to cut back on saying sorry unnecessarily all the time. I've been doing really good lately, fighting obstacles that have previously seemed impossible and I wouldn't even try to fight. For some reason I have a hard time figuring out how to write about the good. I don't want to seem like I'm bragging and I also don't want to jinx myself or paint this picture that I'm all better when in reality I've just had a few good days in a row. Things haven't been 100% easy for me, there have definitely been some struggles and rough moments and Xanax, but at the end of the day I've had an overall feeling of good. After this feeling lasts for a few days I start to panic. Yup, I pani...