Dancing Through Anxiety

So January has not gotten any easier for me, thank goodness it's over tomorrow! I know, I know, just the start of a different month. Name isn't going to automatically solve all my problems, but it's a nice addition. I have to apologize really quick to those of you that follow the Instagram for my blog because I haven't been very active on there. I try to keep an uplifting theme on there and here, because even though mental illness is tough I still try to be a positive version of it as much as possible and that hasn't been easy for me this month at all. So I find myself pulling away from everyone instead of talking about it.  Going off of that trying to be positive note I always try to find something beneficial from my anxiety and what's going on in my life (as much as possible when my brain is constantly lying to me). I can even tell you positive things that have come from my panic attacks and what I've learned going forward. This month, however, everyth...

So if you've been following along with my blog or social media you've probably seen that I've been having a hard time lately.  January and also sometimes into February tend to be a hard time for me in general, so although this wasn't completely unexpected, it still sucks. Between becoming a year older, starting a new year, birthday anniversaries of loved ones I've lost along with their death anniversaries, it's been tough for me to not feel sad all the time. I've just felt reminded of how much my life has changed and in some cases how it is not at all where I expected I would be or even where I want to be. Then you add on to that all the grief that comes with remembering loved ones who are no longer with me and the struggle becomes even worse. Grief is such a difficult concept for me because there is not a right and wrong way to grieve. As a business major, perfectionist, and gold personality, I strive in environments that have guidelines and right wa...

So unfortunately for about the past week or so I have found myself in a not so great place. Depression, anxiety, panic -they've all come to visit in full force. It's the worst it's been in a while and even though I have an idea of why they are coming out to play, it still doesn't make it any easier. In fact, it actually makes it harder for me. I tend to be a perfectionist in life, so I always want answers. I've been learning through this journey that having answers to why something is happening doesn't always help. I thought that once I knew what my triggers were I would be able to control my mental health from getting too out of control, I mean, when you know you have a broken arm you get a cast and rehab it and everything works out. This isn't the same though and that frustrates me so much. I know why I'm in a low point and I know my tricks that usually help me get through it, but it's still winning. I can see the problem but I can't fully fig...

Happy New Year friends! I don't know about you but I can't believe it's already a new year, how did this happen?! I hope you all enjoyed this holiday season and got to create some new wonderful memories. The new year and also just the month of January in general tends to cause me to fall into a post-holiday depression. I feel overwhelmed with the pressure to create goals and start new, but at the same time I enjoy the ability to hit refresh and try to find new motivation. Every new year I tend to set a bunch of unrealistic and very specific goals for myself and then forget about them after a few weeks because they weren't possible to reach. Then I end up getting upset and feeling like a failure for not meeting them, but in reality I almost set myself up for failure without realizing I was doing it. Lately I've been trying to be more patient with myself, especially while currently feeling a bit down right now, so I decided to approach this new year a littl...